i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize