I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
