You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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