2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
