i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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