Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
