It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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