drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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