I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
