just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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