You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
