Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
