is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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