Soap is not a condiment
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
