I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize