I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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