I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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