Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We have started to decorate penises.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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