i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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