we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You are the jesus of drinking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
