I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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