What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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