There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
