why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
