I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
