Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
