$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
