Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
