he wants to bone in the snuggie
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
