Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
