Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize