This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
