Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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