I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
