he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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