she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
