There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
