I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
