He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
