I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
