Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
jump out the window naked night went bad
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize