I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
