whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you didnt know i had herpes?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
