I accidentally had phone sex last night
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Bring me that man meat
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
