six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
