and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
