My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
