i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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