I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
