nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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