what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize