I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
