Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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