You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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