This girl is more easily done than said...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
