What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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