big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
